Thursday, December 17, 2009

Stable.


I was scanned this week.

My tumor seems to be stable for now. No shrinkage. No growth or spread.

Stable.

The doctors say this is good.

They hope it stays this way for a really long time. I have a feeling it will. To be completely honest, I came to Houston for this scan not expecting to have anything miraculous happen. I didn't think the tumor would be gone, nor did I think that anything else would be discovered. I guess "stable" was my expectation. I know enough about carcinoids to not have expected extremely fast changes. They are slooooooow to grow and will be sloooooooow to do anything else, like shrink or disappear. Chances of it spreading or causing me any of the syndrome problems are actually pretty slim, so I think I have to get used to the fact that the tumor will be sharing intimate space with my aorta for a while.

It's a strange thing. I feel well and have only a few residual side affects from the radiation and surgery that the doctors expect will clear up on their own soon. Getting to this point, where real life seems to be inching its way back to me, is what I wanted for a while. Only 4 months ago, I didn't know when that point would be. I couldn't imagine going out shopping with my mom or on my own; or driving my car again; or even thinking about something other than cancer and recovering. I'm not completely free from it yet, and probably never will be. I have to be checked every 4 months and I need to take care of my remaining lung, but for now knowing things are good for the time being is just what I needed.

2 comments:

  1. I know you will be there again. It will not be 100% the same, but it will be close enough. You are an amazing person and all of this is part of your journey in life. Remember you are still living it. <3 Ri

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  2. Thanks Ri. That "new normal" is what I will be getting used to, but life is still great and you're right...living is what's important.
    Hugs and hope to see you soon,
    Steph

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