Friday, July 23, 2010

looking forward

  {my $1.50 IKEA plant}

On Monday, I'll have my voice surgery.  I'll no longer have the whispery voice I've had since last August.  I don't mind it so much, except that it is very tiring at the end of the day and I often have to repeat myself because people tend to not hear or understand what I'm saying...especially on the phone.  (Julie may recall the "Table for Bethany" incident a few months ago.) Most importantly, this voice surgery brings me even further away from cancer and more towards life before it. 

My scans were stable again this month, so even though the tumor is not gone...it still hasn't grown or spread.  That's great news and as always, just what I expected.  I feel very grateful to be getting more and more of my life back lately.  I'm getting back to some of the things I was enjoying before cancer interrupted it all.  When I got sick, there were days when I didn't even want to think about planning anything beyond the next week or two.  The time right after my surgery was the bleakest for me and planning or thinking about the future scared me.  It wasn't until months later, as my radiation treatments were finishing up, that I started planning and looking forward to things in the weeks and months ahead.  I think that's when I finally started to feel better, and when I realized that things were actually going to be okay.  

So, as I celebrate another stable scan result, here are some things I'm looking forward to....

my new voice
a new semester to teach art history
my 29th birthday
the first cool breezes of Fall
wearing scarves
yoga
taking more photographs (this is a great way to work on that)
drinking lots of coffee and hot chocolate
pumpkin pie
home

2 comments:

  1. You have a beautiful blog.
    Wishing you the best on Monday.
    Surely you deserve it.

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  2. I very much remember your alter ego, Bethany. I'm glad this surgery will bring you closer to normalcy. I personally cannot wait to hear the new Stephanie voice. Maybe they'll fit you with a Cajun accent! Watch out!

    I'm eager for fall, too. There's so much to look forward to. I want to take a trip with you to Boerne or another fun place in the Hill Country. We can wear our scarves and have pumpkin pie and go on a photo adventure!

    Good vibes are coming your way for tomorrow. I will light a candle for you. A vanilla scented one! I love you Steph!

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