Viva La Vida

Life Lately | January

2012-01-15T20:27:00.000-06:00

Enjoying the unseasonably warm Winter weather.

Reading fun books and new (to me) blogs before bed.

Avoiding taking down the Christmas tree and decorations.

Baking bread (finally!).

Worrying about finishing my degree this semester and what that means.

Dreaming about black and white photographs and a working in a dark room again.

Year's End

2011-12-31T16:57:00.006-06:00

These last few weeks of 2011 just flew by, and now I'm sitting here at home on the last day of December relaxing and thinking about the year I've had. It was a good year over all and I'm thankful for every moment, both good and bad. I've also been thinking about resolutions and all of those things I should do more of next year, of what I should finally start, what I need to change, and what I need to finish. I'm constantly making lists, setting plans, and creating schedules, but have a hard time actually sticking to all of it. So I guess the ultimate resolution for me is not to list more things to do and change, but just to actually do them.

Here are a few photos from year's end that I haven't yet shared here. I spent the past few weeks enjoying family and friends, baking and decorating at home, taking a break from work and school, and just enjoying life.

{baked two pies this Thanksgiving, for the first time ever}

{welcomed the beautiful Fall weather}

{celebrated my niece's 4th birthday}

{visited a great farmer's market in Houston when I was done with my appointments}

{happy with another round of stable scans}

{had a wonderful Christmas surrounded by those I love}

I spent today, the last day of 2011, with Alex having lunch at our favorite restaurant, watching TV, reminiscing and laughing about the year that passed, and plan to spend the evening at home with some wine and each other, which feels like a wonderful way to to end 2011.

I expect 2012 to be a great year! Wishing everyone who reads this the very best and I leave you with one of my favorite Rilke quotes to start the new year:

"We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen."

See you in 2012.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T20:52:00.002-06:00

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures."

{Thornton Wilder}

I'm grateful for all of the treasures in my life.

*my husband and our beautiful life together*

*my family and Alex's family for always being there for us*

*my nieces and nephews for being so adorable and making me laugh*

*my friends for being such smart, talented, and wonderful people*

*my health, a job, a car, food, clothes and all of the day-to-day necessities that not everyone is fortunate enough to have*

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-20T21:42:00.002-06:00

Source: intent.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

I've had many days like this lately.

2011-11-17T21:45:00.001-06:00

Source: google.de via Stephanie on Pinterest

The Weekend

2011-11-13T22:39:00.000-06:00

* Perfected my mocha latte recipe using this secret ingredient *

* Attended an opening for Alex's new series of drawings and am so very proud of him. *

* Watched this documentary and was inspired by Bill Cunningham's dedication and humility *

Oatmeal Banana-Nut Muffins

2011-11-12T15:18:00.001-06:00

I always start the week with the best of intentions: eat three servings of fruit a day, including a banana as mid-morning or late afternoon snack. Even though I try, I still wind up with a couple of ripe bananas by the weekend. Instead of throwing them out, I decided to make a few muffins. I didn't have a lot of flour on hand, so I used oatmeal to make up for the missing 1/2 cup of flour. I think that made them a little healthier, too. These were great as a midnight snack Friday night and perfect as breakfast on Saturday morning.

Oatmeal Banana-Nut Muffins

adapted from Better Homes and Gardens cookbook

The basic recipe is linked above, along with their ideas for other variations and a streusel topping.

Makes 12

Ingredients

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup oatmeal

1/3 cup sugar

2 teaspoons baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 egg, beaten

3/4 cup milk

1/4 cup cooking oil

3/4 cup mashed bananas

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Grease muffin pan or line with paper liners.

2. In a medium bowl combine flour, oatmeal, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Make a well in center of flour mixture; set aside.

3. In another bowl combine egg, milk, oil. Add egg mixture, mashed bananas, and walnuts to flour mixture. Stir just until moistened (batter should be lumpy).

4. Spoon batter into prepared muffin cups, filling each 2/3 full.

5. Bake for 18 - 20 minutes or until golden. Cool slightly and enjoy.

Think Zebra.

2011-11-10T08:00:00.000-06:00

In an effort to raise awareness about Neuroendocrine Tumors (NETs), November 10th is NET Cancer Day around the world.

The zebra represents NET patients because of a saying in the medical community: "When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras." This refers to the idea that the most obvious answer (or diagnosis) is probably the right one. For people dealing with neuroendocrine tumors, that's not always the case. Depending on where the tumor is located, patients can present a myriad of symptoms similar to other ailments, only to deal with years of misdiagnosis. When NETs are finally diagnosed, the tumors have metastasized or become inoperable. Neuroendocrine tumors are the zebras.

I'll admit that it's often difficult for me to relate to other NET patients and their stories of misdiagnosis and painful years of confusing symptoms because I had none. I still don't. I was fortunate enough to have been diagnosed fairly quickly, but also very incidentally. My doctor's decision to order an x-ray to rule out bronchitis changed my life completely. Yet, I know how for other reasons (my age and the lack of symptoms), I could have easily been told the obvious - that nothing was wrong.

Like most cancers, early detection and surgical removal of the small localized tumors, is the best bet for curing NET patients. I face a bit of both scenarios: while my tumor was fairly massive, it had spread to only the local lymph nodes, so removal of my lung and most of the affected lymph nodes was still possible.

So, instead of urging doctors (and patients) to only consider the obvious, it's best to remember, "If you don't suspect it, you can't detect it." Think zebra.

For more info:
Net Cancer Day Website
Caring For Carcinoid Foundation

About my NET:
My Diagnosis Story
Lung Carcinoid

Give:
Caring for Carcinoid Donation Page

Image Source: raquelissima.com via Kristen on Pinterest

2011-11-06T15:38:00.001-06:00

Wild Geese

by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

Dia de los Muertos

2011-11-01T20:21:00.000-05:00

"To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die."

Thomas Campbell

Mini Donuts

2011-10-27T08:00:00.001-05:00

I've wanted a mini donut pan for a while, so when my mom bought it for me, I was so excited to try it out. I made these mini donuts for my sister's birthday this Monday. There is a recipe on the package but I didn't have the ingredients. I had a box of yellow cake mix in the pantry and I simply added 1 tablespoon of nutmeg to give them a more donut-y taste. I think that next time, I will try a baked donut recipe to see if I like it better. Adding the nutmeg was just okay.

They turned out really cute. I made a few others with cinnamon and sugar, plain glaze and some with pink glaze. They only take a few minutes to bake and decorating them is easy. I think I will make some chocolate glazed ones next time. I also imagine making mini cupcakes with mini donuts on top!

To Do List

2011-10-26T08:00:00.001-05:00

Source: None via Stephanie on Pinterest

Catching Up

2011-10-25T20:07:00.000-05:00

{a lovely used book store I visited in Coyoacan}

Life during the last weeks of September and the beginning of October was busy, to say the least. Looking back, I realize that planning a research trip, studying for my art history comprehensive exam, researching Italian metaphysical painting, working 40 hours a week at my day job, packing for my trip, and celebrating my 30^th birthday might have been a bit much to take on.

I was cranky, anxious about my trip, and will admit to crying a few times here and there when the stress was just too much. The only thing that helped to keep me going was the knowledge that this hectic time would be over soon. I would have to take the test. I would have to get on that plane. I would have to return the library books. And then, it would all be done (at least for the moment).

I returned from Mexico City with a suitcase full of books and tons of research that I acquired for my thesis. With what felt like the most demanding part of the semester done, I now feel like I have some breathing room. Although I still have to work and write, I also feel like I can relax a little and enjoy the lovely Fall weather.

2011-09-30T22:09:00.000-05:00

Source: flickr.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

To Do List

2011-09-11T21:17:00.000-05:00

Source: etsy.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

It’s already mid-September and not a word from me on this blog. Life has just been busy and as much as I’ve wanted to spend time here, I’ve been working and writing and relaxing a lot, too.

September has been great so far, especially since the insane Texas heat is finally subsiding. There were even a few days where temperatures were in the low 90s! After nearly three months of temperatures rising to 100 degrees and above, even that was a welcome relief. I’m more than happy to see this summer end and eager for fall weather to arrive.

Despite bouts of heat-induced laziness and the constant dread of going outdoors, I did manage to have some fun adventures and got to check off some of the things on my Summer To Do List, like I finally found the perfect perfume for me and have been wearing red lipstick on occasion. Unfortunately, I didn’t bake bread (see above regarding the heat). In fact, I didn’t bake or cook much of anything, but there’s no reason why I can’t keep those items on my To Do list for Fall, right?

Get a haircut – Less humidity means I can actually wear it loose again.

Read – These two books have been on my reading list for a while, so I'll spend my spare time this Fall with them: Their Eyes Were Watching God and The Emperor of All Maladies.

Bake - This Italian Cream Cake looks delicious, so I hope to bake it and a lot of other things, too. It’s Fall!

Enjoy - I want to spend the cooler weather working cozily at my desk or at the library, wearing warm scarves, and drinking plenty of strong homemade coffee. I'm looking forward to dinner parties and perhaps a lovely Fall picnic at the park or this beautiful place.

These are the things I want to do for me, in addition to all of the things I have to do for work and school (Write, Go to Mexico City, Write some more). Earlier this year, I was inspired by this great blog post about doing things that make me feel good, and this is what I plan to do.

What about you? What are you looking forward to doing this Fall?

2011-08-30T21:52:00.000-05:00

Source: thoughtsandfeelings.net via Stephanie on Pinterest

The Weekend

2011-08-29T22:04:00.000-05:00

dos

2011-08-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

{via etsy}

And so, it's been two years since my Lung Carcinoid surgery. Two years farther and farther away from the life I knew before. My scars are no longer new and most days go by without any thought to what I've been through. I guess that's part of the healing process - moving forward.

To be honest, I wasn't sure what I could write about today. My cancer life has been pretty uneventful the past year (I'm truly grateful for that), and I still feel a lot of the same things I felt one year ago. With a stable (yet ever-present) tumor lingering in my body, there's really no way to know how long this uneventful life will last.

For the most part, I simply try to live the best life I possibly can. Some days are easier than others (both physically and emotionally), but I just focus on the present. Today, I don't think about what I lost two years ago, I think about the wonderful life I get to continue to live.

Summer Baking

2011-08-23T21:57:00.001-05:00

{I didn't have strawberries, but I did have everything else, so I made this recipe anyway}

The Weekend

2011-08-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

{spent Sunday morning with good friends and great food at Ocho Lounge}

Waiting

2011-08-19T08:00:00.003-05:00

Bright

2011-08-18T08:00:00.001-05:00

{it's bright and hot outside right now}

Fried

2011-08-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

{but so good}

Stretch

2011-08-16T08:00:00.000-05:00

{Tomas and Toes}

1, 2, 3, Coffee

2011-08-15T08:00:00.002-05:00

{my morning routine}

Sunday

2011-08-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

{but it's best on Sunday}

Where I will be this weekend...

2011-08-12T08:00:00.005-05:00

{my desk at home}

2011-08-10T08:00:00.002-05:00

{sometimes he tries to help me with my work}

fancy

2011-08-09T08:00:00.000-05:00

{my wedding band and some vintage rings that Alex has given me}

{my favorite earrings, purchased on my last trip to Mexico City}

The Weekend

2011-08-07T14:37:00.004-05:00

{shopping for spicy candy}

2011-08-04T07:00:00.001-05:00

{currently reading}

Art and Life

2011-08-02T09:00:00.005-05:00

{Alex's new artist studio space is in this beautiful building}

The Weekend

2011-08-01T07:00:00.001-05:00

{homemade lattes and lots of notes}

August Break

2011-07-28T23:22:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe it's already August. This year has gone by so fast, especially this summer.

I have to admit that I've been in a bit of a creative block lately. I haven't been as productive on my thesis as I expected to be this summer and things were thrown off when my Mexico City trip had to be postponed (it's now in October). Since June, I've been experiencing writer's block and my research has been slow going. The new school year will be starting in less than a month and now it's time to focus on working hard and getting on track.

This is why I'm excited to participate in The August Break again this year. Susannah Conway, whose inspiring blog full of beautiful photography and lovely writing, started this project last year as a way to take a break from blogging (writing) and instead posted only photos for the entire month of August. Hundreds of bloggers joined in and a wonderful community of people, taking a late Summer break for a variety of reasons, emerged.

Although my posts have been primarily photo-based lately, I always feel like I need to write more, to say more here in this space. But right now, I think my words need to be reserved for all the thesis work I need to get done. I still want to share and explore the world around me in a creative way, and taking more photos is a great way to do that. I'll have something to post on the blog, and I'll hopefully get more work done in the process.

To Do List

2011-07-23T22:43:00.000-05:00

{bake bread}

Source: goodlifeeats.com via Melaney on Pinterest

{find the perfect perfume}

Source: rockettstgeorge.co.uk via Bairbre on Pinterest

{sit in a coffee shop all day and write}

Source: 29.media.tumblr.com via Josh on Pinterest

{make a painting}

Source: secretforts.blogspot.com via Cathe on Pinterest

{wear red lipstick more often}

Source: refinery29.com via Christine on Pinterest

2011-07-19T22:19:00.000-05:00

This is a stack of most of my journals from the past few years. Some of those journals go as far back as 2001, and I know that I have a few earlier ones at my mom's house. I haven't journaled regularly in a while.

I do hope to get back to writing and visually documenting my life and experiences in the same way I did in the pages of those notebooks. I wrote, drew, painted, collaged...filling each one with my plans, my hopes, my ideas and my fears. I do that to a certain extent here in this blog, using photos and words, but as things get more digital, I long for something tangible and more personal.

Those journals will always be with me, and when I'm not here, they will serve as physical evidence of my existence. They may never mean anything to anyone but me, and that's ok. Those books and pages will endure and won't get lost in the vast expanse of the world wide web.

Around the House

2011-07-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, we had friends over for dinner and a movie. As I waited for them to arrive, I took a few photos of our home with my iphone since it was neater than usual.

Alex and I have lived in this one-bedroom duplex for almost 3 years and we love it. The house was built in the 1950s and has lovely hardwood floors and charming details like built in cabinets in the dining room, french doors, and all of the original glass door knobs. Its not perfect, but it is roomy and perfect for the two of us right now.

As we have grown into this space, our personality and style is truly reflected in how we've decorated it. It's mostly filled with vintage finds from thrift stores and estate sales. So today, I thought it would be fun to share a quick glimpse of some of my favorite details from around the house.

Summer So Far

2011-07-11T08:00:00.000-05:00

{visiting the library and working on my research}

{trying to eat more fruits and veggies}

{spending time with this kitten}

{taking time to slow down and relax a bit}

{seeing some art at the local galleries}

{Sunday morning strolls through a historic neighborhoods}

Scan Results

2011-07-10T16:25:00.000-05:00

As expected, my scans in June indicated that my tumor is still stable. I am very grateful for that and for the relatively normal life I'm able to lead, but I can't help but feel a little disappointed that it is still there. I sometimes feel like I don't want to stir things up again because I feel fine and am not having any symptoms or problems. I'm being treated by one of the top carcinoid specialists in the country, so I trust his approach. It's just that the approach is to "watch and wait." Sometimes I wonder what exactly it is we're waiting for.

The excitement of the first few scans after treatment, when we thought that maybe the radiation might have caused the tumor to shrink, has definitely worn off at this point. For now, all I can focus on is the fact that I am really fortunate to be here and to be alive, with just a small tumor that doesn't cause me any problems or interfere with my daily life, but as time passes I can't help but wonder how much longer before the scan is no longer stable.

Still Here

2011-05-24T21:00:00.000-05:00

I'm still here. Things have been busy lately with the close of the school year and the start of the summer. I'm also planning my upcoming trips, one week to Houston for scans and the following week to Mexico City for research. It's exciting, but overwhelming at the same time.

With only a couple of weeks before I head to Houston to be scanned, my thoughts turn to the carcinoid. At this appointment, I'll have my second Octreotide scan as well as a CT scan and will see my thoracic surgeon, radiation oncologist, and my carcinoid specialist. Things are always strange for me before scans. I never expect for anything new to show up, nor do I ever think that they'll be completely clear, but those thoughts are always in the back of my mind somehow. The fear that the tumor will have progressed is never going to subside, but I keep that fear in check as I go through my daily life.

I think that this time around my focus has been more on planning the trip to Mexico City than on the follow up visit to Houston, so I haven't had as much "scanxiety" as before. I truly don't know what to expect. I worry this time that I'll be disappointed if it remains stable and hasn't decreased in size, but at the same time, that is a far better scenario than the alternative. I just hope for the best and to be granted another 6 months of normal life before my next round of check ups.

Thrift Store Noir

2011-04-20T20:22:00.000-05:00

This past Saturday, after spending some time at the library in the early morning, Alex and I ventured into our neighborhood and to some really neat thrift shops we had never been to. One of them was made up of rooms and rooms filled with really inexpensive vintage furniture. Another store that we pass every single day, but had never stopped in was a hobby shop, and it was dedicated to vintage and antique toys.

The most bizarre place we went to was a huge thrift store that was filled from floor to ceiling with stuff. A lot of it might have just been junk, but there was really too much to tell. There were some really wonderful things there, but I think the woman who ran it was not really open to selling, since nothing was priced and when it was, it was fairly high.

In any case, I was mesmerized by all of the odd items she had there and the haphazard placement of everything often created some really interesting vignettes.

I couldn't help but take a few photographs.

This is only part of what was accessible. About half of the huge space was too full to walk through.

This wonderful little painting was only $35. I don't know why I didn't buy it. I might just have to go back for it.

And, who can resist photographing old photographs?

These mannequins were my favorite. They reminded me of the paintings that I study (see below), and perhaps it was my reminder to get back to work.

Maria Izquierdo. El Huachinango. 1943

Maria Izquierdo. Gato Sabio. 1943
Maria Izquierdo. Trigo Crecido. 1940

Life Lately.

2011-04-13T20:57:00.000-05:00

{my new favorite healthy breakfast}

{skies over the campus when I leave the library}

{date nights at our favorite Italian restaurant}

{My film is on its way. I think it will be magical.}

{Sunday night sweets}

Organized

2011-04-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

Yes, I am a nerd.

I was so excited when Katrina from one of my favorite blogs, Pugly Pixel, posted this desktop organization resource. She posts so many blog resources, ideas, and projects but I don't always have time to use them all or work with them in Photo Shop. When I saw this one, I knew I had to try it, and it was super simple to just open it in Photo Shop and type in the headings I needed for the categories. I also downloaded the Desktop Notes app she recommended to add to do lists to my desktop that I can see daily and keep track of.

I love it!

April Goals

2011-04-03T20:10:00.000-05:00

{Image Source}

Eat Healthier - eat more fruits and vegetables, limit eating out and make better choices when I do, drink more water everyday, eat breakfast daily, and try a few new healthy recipes.

Exercise - walk for 30 minutes at least 3 times a week this month, also attend yoga at least once a week.

Culture - visit at least one of the museum exhibits I've been wanting to go to, but because of school or work, I haven't. I must remember I am an art historian.

School and Work: Stay organized and focused on my schedule to finish up the class I teach this semester and to make some real progress on my thesis this month. Write daily for at least 30 minutes.

Balance: understand that some days may be harder (and less productive) than others and that as long as I do something, I'll be okay. Stop trying to get it all done and go day-by-day.

I'll be revisiting these goals at the end of the month to see how I did. I'm looking forward to this fresh start for Spring.

Lunch Time Stroll

2011-03-31T21:54:00.000-05:00

Today during lunch I walked over to a beautiful park near my office, ChrisPark. I had been there before and had not made it back recently, but since my new office is so close, I thought I'd wander through it again. It was just what I needed today. I hope to stop by more often during my lunch break and read a book or just enjoy being outside for a quiet moment in my day.

{some sparkle on the sidewalk caught my eye}

{the journal benches were my favorite}

{gorgeous agave plants}

{blue skies and white flowers}

{happy friday}

The Weekend

2011-03-28T21:41:00.000-05:00

{sandals and chipped polish}

{beets at the farmer's market}

{the josephine street bridge}

{enjoying a watermelon-canteloupe lemonade by the riverwalk}

I have no idea where the past few weeks have gone. Suddenly, I find myself at the end of March, with a thesis chapter to write and a trip to Mexico City to plan. I'm finding that things are getting fairly hectic for me. I have so many projects and to do lists and stacks of books to read (both for study and for leisure) that it's hard to find a balance sometimes. I find myself constantly busy, which is good, but at times can get to be too much.

After a few very intense weeks of school and work, I spent the weekend taking a break. The weather has been so beautiful and spring-like lately that it was hard to resist taking a trip to the farmer's market and strolling down the river walk with lovely friends and family. I bought some yummy locally made hummus, a loaf of freshly baked rosemary ciabatta bread, and a bushel of cute mini carrots. Afterwards we headed to a favorite restaurant for lunch.

I took most of Sunday "off," too and visited family and helped Alex in our garden. We planted a rosebush clipping from his parent's backyard, so I'm hoping that it grows and survives in my little front yard garden.

It was good to have a short break and I now feel refreshed and ready for the next phase of my semester.

Banana Bread and Nutella Buttercream

2011-03-06T17:40:00.000-06:00

At times when I feel most stressed, one of the most therapeutic things for me to do is bake. There is something about the order and structure of the recipe that calms me. I was feeling the stress and urgency of some upcoming deadlines and just needed to step back and regroup. So, I got to baking. I had made this recipe before, in a slightly different variation, so I knew it was delicious and easy to make.

I got creative and decided to make a little bit of Nutella buttercream to go with it. The loaf was nice and warm when I cut into it and added the buttercream, which melted slightly.

It was the perfect end to a very busy week.

The Long Weekend

2011-02-21T20:17:00.000-06:00

Having an extra day off this weekend meant that I could spend a little more time relaxing in between all the school stuff I had to get done. I feel like I accomplished a lot, but don't feel exhausted or like it was all work. I did do good amount of work on my thesis, but also had extra time to watch a couple of movies, organize my recipe file, work on my visual journal, paint my toenails red...

practice yoga on Sunday morning...

enjoy a pink cupcake on my recently-thrifted plate...

and buy and cook with a tiny pot of fresh mint.

All in all a great weekend.

Valentine's Day 2011

2011-02-15T20:18:00.000-06:00

Alex and I celebrated our Valentine's Day over the weekend because we prefer to spend the day together than exchange fancy gifts. (And just because there weren't fancy gifts, doesn't mean there weren't cheesy gifts for Alex from me).

We took Sunday off from all the other craziness in our lives (my thesis, his upcoming art show, cleaning, cooking, keeping a house in tact) to enjoy the day and explore some beautiful and historic places in our city that we have never been to.

On our first Valentine's Day together, Alex and I visited the San Antonio Missions. That year, we only visited San Jose and Mission Concepcion.

So, we headed back to see...

The Acqueduct

The Beautiful Mission Espada

This wall, with the green plaster worn away from the walls and in the window, was my absolute favorite space.

The churches at the missions are all still working parishes and mass was being held there when we visited.

{Mission Espada's arched doorway}

{the 280 year old masonry}

{visitor graffiti from 1921}

The best part was that we got to do all of this together.

El Corazon

2011-02-14T10:00:00.003-06:00

Some hearts I've encountered lately...

Painted on the floor at Gallista Gallery

A couple of milagros -- eyes for vision, insight and intuition...

and a heart for love, joy and passion.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Mexico City

2011-02-12T00:23:00.000-06:00

{not Mexico, but Market Square at lunch today}

This week I found out that I was awarded a fellowship to travel to Mexico City to conduct research on the artists who I'm writing my thesis about. I am so excited to travel somewhere for something other than a surgery or a scan!

I often think about the timing of my carcinoid diagnosis and about the things I might not have been able to do had I known about it sooner, specifically travel. My tumor was so large that my doctor thinks it was probably around for about 10 years. In that time I traveled to Italy, all over Mexico, and to Spain. I'm sure it would not have been possible to do those things had the carcinoid been discovered sooner.

During my recovery from surgery and treatment, traveling seemed like such a far fetched thing to think about. I could barely see myself getting back to driving, let alone hopping on a plane and running around Mexico or Europe. It wasn't until the opportunity to apply for this fellowship came about late last year that I thought that I might actually be able to do it. When I heard I was selected, I was so happy and honored to be given the opportunity to visit one of the most beautiful cities in the world again and to finally experience the works of art I've been dedicating so much of my spare time to.

Quote

2011-02-09T19:54:00.001-06:00

Source: observando.net via Stephanie on Pinterest

Bibliophile

2011-02-07T21:01:00.000-06:00

{October 7, 1981 is the day after I was born)

And so I find myself at that point in the semester where the amount of reading I have to do has become a bit overwhelming. That, coupled with the amount of reading I want to do makes for an interesting predicament.

The fact is I love to read.

I love to read for leisure and at times, as was the case with the book above, I can truly enjoy the books I need to read for my research. There are moments though, and there have been many lately, where I simply cannot look at any more words. Those are the moments when I take a break from books and look at pictures of books and book-related words on Pinterest.

Below are some of my recent favorites:

Source: merelyloveher.tumblr.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

{I long for more of those times}

Source: booklover.tumblr.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

{old books are my favorites}

Source: booklover.tumblr.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

{I need to do more of this soon}

Snow Morning

2011-02-04T19:03:00.000-06:00

Today is the first time I have ever seen snow. Granted, it's not the blizzard that many parts of the country have been experiencing, but it was fun to wake up to a snow covered front yard. Because it never snows in San Antonio, the city was not exactly prepared and every major highway was completely shut down for the entire morning. The streets were covered in ice and then a layer of snow, making it very dangerous. That meant that many schools and business closed, at least for part of the day. I didn't have to report to work until noon, but was up at 6am ready to go out and play in the snow.

With the late start to my work day, having a slower paced morning meant that Alex and I could build a tiny pair of snowmen, sip our lattes slowly as we watched the news reports about the "Arctic Blast," and eat a yummy breakfast before we made our way through the still somewhat icy streets to my job downtown.

This is what remains of our little garden. I thought our plants would have survived the winter, but today's weather completed annihilated the poor things.

The sun did come out and slowly the snow melted. Chances are it won't snow like this again for a long time, but it was still a nice and unexpected start to my Friday.

Happy Weekend!

2011-01-31T18:09:00.000-06:00

{Keeping this in mind lately.}

Source: integrativehappiness.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

The Weekend

2011-01-30T20:34:00.000-06:00

{the Cathedral on a sunny day in January}

This weekend was an odd one for me. I started it off with a great Saturday morning yoga class, which was just what I needed to unwind from the week and prepare for the busy weekend ahead.

I hadn't been to yoga in a long time, so I knew it would be tough, but as the instructor (who is a lovely high school classmate) reminded me, spending the hour on the mat that morning is what was most important. It's true. Taking that time, no matter how challenging or imperfect my poses were, was the best part of the yoga practice. That hour on the mat meant that I had taken the time for me, to let go of the stress and to focus on the present moment for a bit. I'm definitely looking forward to next Saturday's class.

The weather this weekend was unseasonably warm and almost Spring-like. Unfortunately, I had to spend my weekend mostly indoors reading and studying. By Sunday afternoon, I was worn out and sad that I had missed out on such lovely days, so I put aside my reading for the weekend and finally watched Broken Embraces, the latest movie by one of my absolute favorite filmmakers, Pedro Almodovar.

In other random news, I found out that I won a copy of The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer. I've had that book on my library hold list for a while, so I'm looking forward to getting my copy. Progress on my January book has been slow, but the early part of the semester is fairly busy, so I'm ok with that. Plus, I finally got the Keri Smith's journals that I've been wanting for a while now and I'm excited to start them soon.

With that, I'm set set to start the busy week ahead. I walk underneath these beautiful vintage ceiling tiles every day and thinking of these lovely details make the work week seem a little more bearable.

2011-01-28T22:06:00.000-06:00

"The only journey is the one within."

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Chocolate Nutella Fudge with Sea Salt

2011-01-25T08:00:00.000-06:00

{recipe}

This is only my second attempt at making fudge and it has me wondering why I don't do this more often. Actually, I know why, because it's really sweet and chocolately and I shouldn't be making and eating this all the time. But, for a quick and easy dessert after a delicious dinner with friends, it makes sense and was perfect. The Nutella was subtle and the sea salt on top was just enough of a contrast for the sweet chocolate.

The Weekend

2011-01-23T21:00:00.000-06:00

I managed to spend the entire weekend at home drinking the best Mexican hot chocolate, enjoying dinner with friends, and reading -- which is good and what I needed after a long and busy week.

Project Stephanie: Heart Garlands

2011-01-21T17:00:00.000-06:00

{cut out hearts from magazine pages and tape to string}

{tape heart-shaped doilies onto a string}

I know it's not even February yet, but I got ahead of myself last weekend by making some festive heart garlands.

This is a really simple and cute handmade project. There are definitely more elaborate ways to make these, but I just wanted to create something that didn't take too much planning, materials or time.

I love the way the garlands add just a bit of whimsy to our living room, and even though the project was super-simple, I like the fact that I actually made something. After all the working, reading, writing and worrying about my looooong list of things to do, sitting on the sofa with a pair of scissors, some string, and tape was just the sort of thing I needed to help me unwind and relax.

There's still plenty of time between now and Valentine's Day, so I just might want to try doing this...hmmmm? Probably, not.

Happy Weekend!

via on Pinterest

2011-01-20T08:00:00.001-06:00

I bought these miniature erasers at the dollar store the other day and had no idea what to do with them, so I lined them up on my kitchen windowsill and photographed them.

Procrastination? Maybe.

Cute? Absolutely!

January Reading

2011-01-18T19:00:00.000-06:00

via on Pinterest

For my first, non-research book of 2011, I chose Luis Alberto Urrea's The Hummingbird's Daughter. I've been trying to read this book for a while, but with school and other things, I just never really got around to it. I read very few books for fun last year and when I did, they were mostly short stories. I have bookshelves lined with books and I want to read them, so I'm making it a point to get to some of them this year. I am realistic and understand that my thesis and teaching take a lot of my time, but even if I read very, very slowly, I'd like commit to at least one book a month. So, for the rest of January, I'll be spending my spare time with this book that so far, has been wonderful.

The Weekend

2011-01-17T20:30:00.000-06:00

The weather this weekend was rainy and cold, so I spent plenty of time at home this three-day weekend, watching silly movies and TV shows, relaxing after being good and doing my research for part of the day. (Except maybe Saturday, when I took a really long and unintended nap.)

I even did some arts and crafts (more on that later), cleared out my closet, and started my non-art history book for January. All in all a productive weekend.

2011-01-10T08:00:00.004-06:00

Working downtown means I get to pass by this door everyday. It's lovely.

2011

2011-01-09T20:28:00.000-06:00

Classes start up tomorrow, both for the students I teach and for myself. With all the celebrating and family get-togethers, the holiday break flew by way too fast, so I found myself spending the last two weeks focusing on preparing for the semester. I finally feel like I'm ready to go. I have a study/teaching/writing/life schedule in place that I intend to stick to if I want to get my work done this year. Plus, I have a beautiful new workspace thanks to Alex. Having such a beautiful and comfortable spot will surely help me to stay organized and focused this year.

Apart from my #1 resolution/goal to get my research and thesis completed this year though staying organized and cutting the procrastinating, I have some other goals in mind for 2011:

Read more books for fun: Although I have a lot of art history reading to do, I find that taking a break from that with a good book is always necessary.

Yoga: My good friend Liz gave me a gift pass to a new yoga studio, so I'll definitely be attending at least five sessions this year. Hopefully, I can build upon that with either establishing a home practice or attend the studio classes on a regular basis.

Eat Healthier, Cook More: This will take some work, but I do feel it is something I need to pay closer attention to since I tend to avoid fruits, veggies and find myself consuming way more sugary sweets than I should. I plan to incorporate more of the good stuff, while allowing for an occasional indulgence here and there. I think that cooking more will likely follow as I incorporate healthier foods.

Make something now and then: I want to do more crafty things like this, or this and maybe even this:

via on Pinterest

Most of all, I just want for 2011 to be as great a year as 2010.

Best Idea Ever

2010-12-29T08:00:00.008-06:00

Buying an espresso machine and using it to make cappuccinos and lattes at home.
{The lovely cup and saucer was one of my Christmas gifts from Alex.}

Very Easy and Fast Fudgy Brownies

2010-12-28T08:00:00.003-06:00

I've rarely made brownies and I'm not sure why, but since finding this really easy and really delicious brownie recipe, I've made several batches. There are some nights when a warm brownie and a tall glass of milk are the perfect accompaniments to watching Top Chef or an old episode of The Office.

Fudgy Brownies
adapted from All Recipes

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup boiling water
2 cups white sugar
2 eggs
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9 x 13 inch pan.

In a large bowl, stir together the cocoa and baking soda. Add 1/3 cup vegetable oil and boiling water. Mix until well blended and thickened. Stir in the sugar, eggs and remaining 1/3 cup oil. Finally, add the flour, vanilla and salt; mix just until all of the flour is absorbed. Spread evenly into the prepared pan.

Bake for 35 - 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the brownie comes out clean. Allow to cool before cutting into squares.

Makes 24 brownies.

Lately...

2010-12-27T15:30:00.001-06:00

Christmas came and went by really fast for me this year. I can't believe there is only a week left in 2010.

My Christmas was spent enjoying time with family and friends, baking, watching movies and reading non-art history related material (though, a few articles did slip in here and there).

2010 was great, but I am really looking forward to 2011. There is much to be done.

December 2nd

2010-12-02T21:56:00.000-06:00

December 2

Writing

What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

(Author: Leo Babauta)

Why did this question have to come up right away? I am the BIGGEST procrastinator. I have been for a while and am an expert at avoiding writing.

My goal for next year is to finish up my thesis. In order to do that, I seriously need to get better at focusing and planning so that it's not as easy for me to distract myself with other things (like baking, going online, cleaning, etc). I also realized recently that I avoid writing by researching more. Even though it seems like working (and it is because it's research), I need to simply write.

I participated in a thesis writing support group this semester and learned the importance of writing daily...even for just 15 minutes. Doing that helped me to get something down on paper so that I am progressing on building something rather than just gathering books and reading.

So in 2011 I will make it a point to write daily (I've joined 750 words which helps ALOT) and eliminate distractions by planning ahead and making writing a priority. It sounds simple, but I know that it's a big challenge for me. I can do all those other things I enjoy and finish up my thesis, but I need to write first and write more and in 2011. That is the plan.

December First

2010-12-01T22:28:00.000-06:00

I decided to participate in this project that I read about on Susannah Conway's lovely blog.

Reverb 10 will provide daily prompts for participants to respond to and share their thoughts about 2010 and their hopes for 2011.

My favorite part of year's end is reflecting upon the year that's passed and planning for the year to come. So, I'll be posting something daily, whether it be words, photographs or both. I think it will be a great way to stay creative and thoughtful.

And so, I begin...

December 1st

One Word

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

2010: Renewal

With 2009 being what it was, 2010 truly felt like an opportunity for renewal...for getting back to the life I had to put on hold for a year and a half. I have begun that process this year and with each month that passes I feel closer and closer to finding my way again.

2011: Progress

With things getting back to normal this past year, I want for 2011 to be all about continuing to move forward in all aspects of my life. I'm excited for what's to come.

The Weekend

2010-11-28T13:25:00.000-06:00

{perfect breakfast this weekend}

I'm still here.

Researching, writing, grading, working, photographing.

I can't believe it's December soon. I have no idea where these past few months have gone. I'm looking forward to the holidays and the end of the year is always an exciting time. Most importantly, it will be a short break in between semesters where I can just enjoy time with family and friends.

I'll head to Houston one more time this year for one more scan in 2010. I think that makes 3 CT scans and a PET scan for the year. My PET scan in October was great. Rather than stable, my doctor said it was clear....no evidence of disease. I'm waiting for the CT scan with the carcinoid specialist in December before I get too excited, because he's always the more realistic doctor of the two. A clear PET scan is always a good thing though. After this December visit, I'll only need a scan every 6 months. I'm looking forward to that longer break between. It will give me more time to focus on life and fun stuff and a potential research trip to Mexico City.

Other than my previous and upcoming scan, I've mostly been focusing on art history. Reading a lot, writing as much as I can, and trying to put it all together nicely. Getting back to my art history research after the time I was off for dealing with the surgery and radiation has been a challenge, but also a really exciting and much needed change of pace.

Thinking About Health Care Reform

2010-10-05T21:13:00.000-05:00

{how fitting for an Art Historian}

I was working on my art history research this evening...and pretty much every evening lately, but I took a break to check my email and blogs. Kairol Rosenthal over at Everything Changes posted this great explanation of the healthcare laws that took effect in September, and it made me think about my own views about health insurance and how having cancer has changed them.

I'll be completely honest, before I was diagnosed with cancer, I never worried about health insurance. If I had a job that offered benefits, I took whatever plan I didn't have to pay for and didn't really worry too much about the fine print. I always figured I would never need it. For a while, I worked only part-time and had no insurance, but didn't give it a second thought. I have always gone to a doctor at a clinic in our neighborhood that was income based, so yearly checkups and sick visits were always available to me and I went, if needed. I was rarely sick, had never had any major surgeries (or minor surgeries for that matter) and could never have fathomed a lung cancer diagnosis.

Less than a year before I was diagnosed with cancer, I got a job at museum that was run by the city I live in, so I became a "City Employee." Though the job didn't pay much, it came with health insurance. I didn't think much of it then, but I am so very lucky to have been diagnosed when I had this job. Had I been diagnosed only a few months earlier, I would have had no coverage. Who knows if I would have even gone to the doctor? If I had been diagnosed with this rare cancer with no insurance, how would I have been able to pay for the type of care I ultimately received? Where would I have come up with the $250,000 (and counting) to pay for my surgeries, proton therapy and follow-up scans? It's a scary and overwhelming thought, and it often leads me to wonder whether or not I would be alive today if I didn't have health insurance.

As a seemingly healthy 27-year old, health insurance wasn't a priority. Cancer changed all of this. I now realize how important affordable, accessible health care is for everyone. In her book, Everything Changes, Rosenthal shares her own story and those of other young adults who were diagnosed with cancer and either had no insurance or that had to fight with their insurances to gain coverage for their medical care. (She discusses other issues as well in both her book and on her blog, and when I was first diagnosed, her website and book were immensely helpful and continue to be a favorite resource.)

Having health insurance and access to healthcare should never be something that anyone has to worry about. After my diagnosis, I often found myself worried about what would happen to me if I lost my job or if I decided to switch jobs or insurances. I have the dreaded "Pre Existing Medical Condition." My medical treatment will be life long (and being only 28-years old, I intend to be around for a long time) so I don't want to have a cap on my lifetime medical expenses. This healthcare legislation is so important and such a giant step in the direction.

Read her blog post at Everything Changes, and if you haven't read her book, you must.

Image via Etsy

Mid-September

2010-09-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's already mid-September! My comps are less than a month away and my evenings & weekends are dedicated to preparing for them. I'll be tested on Mesoamerican Art, Spanish Colonial Architecture, Latin American Art History and pretty much all of Art History. I'll also have to answer a field question about my research topic, and I am preparing for it now. I am so eager to get them out of the way so I can focus on thesis research and writing.

Alex has been working on his paintings, so we have study and studio time most nights and on the weekend. Other than that, I've been preparing for Fall and we put some Halloween decorations outside.

And, it was a rainy evening Friday, so I baked some chocolate whoopie pies.

I've also enjoyed using Pinterest lately. I love just browsing to look at everyone's pins. Since I don't have as much time right now to look at all the blogs out there with so much lovely and great ideas, "pinning" them is a great way to keep track of what I like and come back to it later.

Via Pinterest, I've realized that I'm into pink way more than I thought I was and no man (especially not my husband) would like to live in my dream home.

Fresh and Vintage

2010-09-09T07:00:00.030-05:00

Alex bought me a set of four vintage tumblers with the cutest strawberry design on them when he went to the Goodwill the other day. I use them everyday to drink my orange juice, so when I wanted to have some fresh strawberries and grapes the other night, I figured my little glasses would be the perfect container for them.

Here are some more strawberry themed items I think are lovely...

I'd love to make an apron out of it...

and wear this ring...

and bake this cupcake!

Image Sources: Fabric; Ring; Cupcake

Collections

2010-09-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

Cupcakes

2010-09-06T18:59:00.000-05:00

Whenever I don't feel like making cupcakes of my own, or when I'm craving something different like Carrot Cake or Red Velvet, I love to go to Kate's Frosting. This Red Velvet cupcake was so good and on their Dollar Cupcake day, was even better. It's both a blessing and a curse that this place is so close to my house. I could eat a cupcake from there every single day.

I've been working on my thesis research lately and studying for my comps, so blogging has been neglected a bit. My topic is getting more and more focused and I'm really excited about the direction I'm headed. Although the "August Break" is over and we're a week into September, I have not stopped taking photographs, especially with my iphone. I feel bad sometimes for leaving my DSLR at home so much and just using my hipstamatic app on my phone, but I loooove the photos too much to stop! It's quite addictive. I'll be sharing my photos and hopefully more words soon.

Stormy Skies this Evening

2010-09-02T22:42:00.000-05:00

Recent Loveliness

2010-08-30T21:33:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I procrastinate by going here and here and staring at photographs of yummy food. Most of the stuff is beyond my cooking abilities, but I have found some great recipes there and because I like to look at images of food before I decide to make it, it's perfect for finding new recipes.

I want to make these at some point...

Cancerversary

2010-08-24T06:00:00.002-05:00

{SOURCE}

A year ago today I had surgery to remove my left lung, along with the gigantic carcinoid tumor that had been growing inside of it.

I haven't "officially" commemorated many of the moments from my cancer diagnosis last year. There were many dates that I thought about what I was experiencing the year before, but I wanted my cancerversary to be a date that marked a true milestone in the road to healing. I didn't begin the healing process until I had my thoracotomy on August 24, 2009. That day was the start of a very challenging journey that I never imagined I'd have to embark upon, an experience I never could have planned for, with both very scary and very beautiful moments along the way.

When I woke up in my recovery room that Monday afternoon, I would learn that I had a much larger tumor than my doctor had expected to find and thus, there were a few more complications than he would have liked. I had several tubes coming in and out of several parts of my body. I was swollen and sore, yet relieved and eager to get better. I came home only to have additional (scary) complications develop and I spent a week (quite possibly, the worst week of my life) in the Intensive Care Unit. I headed back to Houston soon after to see my surgeon, who was relieved to see that I was not nearly as deathly ill as he had expected me to be. Radiation began soon after, and I spent two months away from home. When I returned in November, I was worn out but felt better, stronger, and ready to begin living my life again.

Since that point, I've slowly returned to a life that mostly resembles the life I had before cancer. I face roadblocks here and there (colds, bronchitis, soreness, throat surgeries) and I revisit my tumor every few months to see what it has been up to while I was trying to move on.

Today, I reflect upon all the great strides that I've made towards healing and upon all the amazing things that have happened in the time between then and now.

I'm thankful for...

my amazing husband for his constant care and attention and for making me laugh and for loving me and keeping me sane.
my mom and the rest of my family for being there for all the good and not so good moments.
my friends, who are such supportive and amazing people and have made this journey a lot more bearable.
the incredible team of doctors who treated me and continue to treat me.
my health today despite everything that has happened - no more blood thinners, no pain pills and no other medicines at all.

I feel grateful that I...

am getting back to my thesis and art history
got through my first cold and flu season with only one lung!
have my voice back.
can sleep on my left side comfortably again.

These are just a few of the things I've been reflecting upon lately and as I go forth, I will continue to focus on healing and on making the most out of every day. For now, I'll celebrate this first year with a cool new haircut, maybe a cupcake, and by doing everything that I thought cancer was going to take away from me.

Day Job

2010-08-23T08:00:00.007-05:00

Apart from teaching and grad school, I have a "day job." It's just the usual office job, but somedays I realize that I get to work near here.

Around the House

2010-08-22T08:00:00.027-05:00

I think I'm a bit obsessed with the hipstamatic app on my iphone. It's just way too much fun. I love the feel of these digital photos and looking at them makes me want to shoot everything in film from now on. My DSLR is great and all, but there's something about these little iphone photos that make me long for something tangible.

A Treat

2010-08-20T22:24:00.001-05:00

What I Saw Today

2010-08-18T20:54:00.000-05:00

Time To Get To Work

2010-08-17T18:06:00.002-05:00

Time To Get To Work, originally uploaded by Steph.Torres.

School will be starting up again soon, so I'll be busy, busy, busy both teaching art history and working on my master's degree. I'm nervous about the work, but excited, too.

Around Downtown

2010-08-15T16:52:00.000-05:00

sometimes during lunch I pretend to be a tourist.

What I Do

2010-08-12T01:00:00.000-05:00

Baking Away

2010-08-10T18:39:00.000-05:00

It is way too hot to be baking in Texas, yet I do it anyway. I can't resist. I did cut back though and am not baking more than a couple times a month.

On Saturday I made a couple of things. I baked my favorite oatmeal chocolate chip cookie bars, then added ice cream, caramel, chocolate syrup and walnuts to make the best Sunday afternoon dessert ever! I didn't photograph it, but it's pretty much this.

Since the oven was already on, I went ahead and made use of some ripe bananas that we had saved earlier in the week and baked a loaf of really good banana bread. I love any sort of dessert with a streusel topping and have only ever tried to make it one other time, which is surprising! I have to do it more often. That crunchy sweet topping just makes everything extra special.

This banana bread is really easy to make and is subtly sweet. If you're not a fan of the streusel topping, you can definitely just bake the bread alone and it would be just as good.

For some reason, I lined the loaf pan in parchment paper. I thought I read to do this somewhere, but I don't remember where. In any case, I think it made the edges a little browner than I would have liked. I will probably try making it again without it just to see if there's a difference.

Find the recipe here. My sister-in-law gave me the Better Homes and Garden's Cookbook for Christmas, so I used the exact same recipe.

Blooming

2010-08-10T01:00:00.004-05:00

The Weekend

2010-08-09T01:00:00.000-05:00

One Bowl Chocolate Cupcakes

2010-08-06T01:00:00.011-05:00

I have had issues with finding a great recipe for chocolate cupcakes. A few of the one's I have tried either ended up being very dense and not moist enough to pass as a cake, instead they were more like muffins. I came across this blog and her take on a one-bowl chocolate cupcake. They looked really good and seemed fairly easy, so I had to give them a try.

Sure enough, they were so perfect! Very moist, chocolately, sweet and were yummy even with store-bought frosting (only because it's all I had).

I made mine by hand, because I was very lazy and didn't want to bring out my mixer. So, not even that is required for this super simple recipe. It's basically adapted from Martha Stewart's version, with a few modifications.
One Bowl Chocolate Cupcakes

Adapted from Martha Stewart via Slow Like Honey

Ingredients:

2 1/2 c. all-purpose flour

1 1/4 c. dutch-process cocoa powder
2 1/2 c. sugar
2 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
1 1/4 tsp salt
2 large eggs, plus 1 large egg yolk
1 1/4 c. whole milk
1/2 c.vegetable oil, plus 2 tablespoons
1 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 1/4 c. warm water

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350℉. Sift together flour, cocoa, sugar, baking soda, baking powder, and salt into a bowl. Add the eggs, and yolk, the milk, oil, vanilla, and warm water. Mix until smooth and combined.
Fill each cupcake cup about two-thirds full. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes. Cool completely. Frost with your favorite frosting and enjoy!

Some frosting ideas: Vanilla or Chocolate Buttercream, Whipped Cream, or you can't really go wrong with a bit of cream cheese frosting.

Cupcakes and Candles

2010-08-05T01:00:00.005-05:00

Sunday Flowers

2010-08-04T10:39:00.000-05:00

Our dining room is now this lovely yellow color. It really brightens it up and these pink flowers were just perfect for our Sunday dinner night with the Fremins.

Morning Coffee

2010-08-03T00:29:00.001-05:00

On some Saturday mornings only a home made latte will do.

Red and Purple

2010-08-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

On a recent visit to the Farmer's Market.

The Orange Show

2010-08-01T16:04:00.000-05:00

All of these photos were taken by me at the Orange Show Monument in Houston, Texas. Such a lovely and inspiring place.

Phonosurgery

2010-07-31T13:10:00.000-05:00

{source}

I'm happy to report that my voice is back.

It's relatively normal sounding, though it will take some time to get used to. I haven't heard this voice come out of my mouth in almost a year.

The surgery went well and was not as scary as I thought it would be.

Happy weekend!

The August Break

2010-07-31T08:00:00.026-05:00

{Taken by Me at this Wonderful Place}

For the month of August, I'm joining Susannah Conway and many other bloggers in a great project - "The August Break." Basically, its a month of posting simply a photo (or photos) on a daily basis. I'm always trying to keep up this blog, and this is definitely a wonderful way to do that.

August is also the start of the Fall semester for me, so as a grad student and art history teacher, it's a fairly busy time. Posting a photo (or a few) on a regular basis will be great exercise in staying aware of the present moment and to not get too caught up in the stress and busy-ness this time of year can bring. I love taking photos and always need more practice doing that, so I am looking forward to chronicling at least one month of steady photographing and posting. If you aren't already doing this, why not join us.

Here are some of the other bloggers participating and the Flickr group so you can explore some of the other lovely photos that will be shared.

looking forward

2010-07-23T22:28:00.001-05:00

{my $1.50 IKEA plant}

On Monday, I'll have my voice surgery. I'll no longer have the whispery voice I've had since last August. I don't mind it so much, except that it is very tiring at the end of the day and I often have to repeat myself because people tend to not hear or understand what I'm saying...especially on the phone. (Julie may recall the "Table for Bethany" incident a few months ago.) Most importantly, this voice surgery brings me even further away from cancer and more towards life before it.

My scans were stable again this month, so even though the tumor is not gone...it still hasn't grown or spread. That's great news and as always, just what I expected. I feel very grateful to be getting more and more of my life back lately. I'm getting back to some of the things I was enjoying before cancer interrupted it all. When I got sick, there were days when I didn't even want to think about planning anything beyond the next week or two. The time right after my surgery was the bleakest for me and planning or thinking about the future scared me. It wasn't until months later, as my radiation treatments were finishing up, that I started planning and looking forward to things in the weeks and months ahead. I think that's when I finally started to feel better, and when I realized that things were actually going to be okay.

So, as I celebrate another stable scan result, here are some things I'm looking forward to....

my new voice

a new semester to teach art history

my 29th birthday

the first cool breezes of Fall

wearing scarves

yoga

taking more photographs (this is a great way to work on that)

drinking lots of coffee and hot chocolate

pumpkin pie

home

Loveliness: Some things I've Enjoyed Lately...

2010-07-08T22:26:00.000-05:00

***PRETTY***

{Beautiful items here, as always}

***YUMMY***

{The best place to eat this is on any street in Mexico, or the DecoB}

***GROWING***

{I can only grow and keep this plant alive}

***CRAFTY***

{as lovely as this custom made camera strap is, I think I could make my own}

This week was a short week, and I'm quite glad tomorrow is Friday. This weekend should be a productive one as Alex and I attempt to get our house back in order after fixing the walls. I'll be so happy to have things back in place so we can start having guests over again...which is one of my very favorite things to do.

PreOp

2010-06-23T20:13:00.000-05:00

{image by Fernando Vicente}

In about a month I'll look like that.

Not really....

But, I will be have surgery on my vocal chords.

Ever since my lung surgery, my voice has been hoarse and very low. I can't speak very loudly, my voice is strained by the end of the day and it's just not like it was before my surgery. During that surgery, one of the nerves that controls my vocal chord was cut. (Not on purpose, but just accidentally in the process of removing my tumor and lymph nodes) So now, one of my vocal chords is paralyzed and doesn't hit the other one they way it should to create a normal sounding voice. The surgery I'll have in a month will involve putting a small implant behind the vocal chord to push it into place so it hits the other one that is working.

I'm not looking forward to going back into the operating room, even if it is for something so minor. But, I am looking forward to having my voice back. I feel a little more nervous about this procedure than I was about the big surgery I had back in August. Because I'd never had surgery before, I suppose I was much more naive and less fearful because I had no idea what to expect. However, having an open thoracotomy to remove a lung is way more complicated than cutting into my neck and inserting a tiny piece of plastic. I try not to worry too much about it and instead focus on the fact that I'll have my voice back!! I don't even remember what I sounded like before. I hope it doesn't sound strange or too deep or too high pitched.

****the lovely drawings above are by Fernando Vicente. I found them to be fitting for this surgical occasion. The one's he did that have lungs include smoking, so I'm not such a fan of those images.****